I used to think earning a 6-figure salary would fix most of my problems and relieve me from my constant anxiety.

But no. Happiness for me is being able to travel and see the world. For some, it’s a house, a car, education for their kids, food on the table, material things. For me, it isn’t. See, buying the latest gadget whether it’s an iMac or the latest iPhone that was just released, it’s all so fleeting to me. The happiness is temporary. We call it the shiny new toy syndrome.

After that, now what? I’ve been earning almost 200k/month and for what? So this pandemic is really taking a toll on me and Bna. Nothing else makes us the happiest than exploring a new town or waking up early to go to the airport.

Last year, Bna and I thought of going to Japan. I mean, I’ve always wanted to. As I’ve stated in my cover letter; “I remember watching Memoirs of a Geisha 13 years ago and telling myself, I will come to Japan when I grow up”. …

i hope wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, i hope you’re happy. i hope you’re doing everything that you love. above all, i hope you’re happy. do know, i think about you from time to time. i grieved our friendship and i know i hurt you a lot.

just reading our past imessages just as simple as messaging me good morning on a rainy day because you remember how much i love the rain. and how i play jazz music or ben howard. i hope you know i miss you. i miss us.

hi r. it rained today. my hands grabbed my phone. idk maybe a muscle memory to message you also. or send you a gif of a girl right beside her window looking at the rain while drinking a hot cuppa. but reality hit me like a tidal wave. we weren’t friends anymore.

Rants and what-knots

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